Do Elder Gods Even *Need* Followers?
I can think of plenty of reasons that a person might want to interact with a god who is dark, evil, ancient, eldritch, or any of those other “bad-seeming” sorts of things. Of course, some of them are petty, but should we really stop Karen from summoning Dgk-Ro-Barok, The Unclean One, to ruin Karri’s life because Karri gave her the stink-eye at Girl Scouts? We can happily admit that it’s uneconomical, especially considering the favors that Mr. Unclean asks for in return are far too pricey, but it’s not like we’re going to go to her house and burn her altar down for it.
Instead, the problem goes the other way. Why the hell does Dgk-Ro-Barok even give Karen the time of day? What has she done to deserve his affection, in any sense? She’s a PTA mom. I’m supposed to believe that these ancient forces of darkness, death, and despair are so down and out for work that they’ll just accept whoever walks through their metaphorical door?
Sure. For dinner maybe.
Generally speaking, in this kind of work, we assume an exchange is taking place. It’s economic for both parties to enter into a contract, which works with some “““dark forces””” more than others, since they’re believed to be locked up in various prisons or zones of ill-repute, and not necessarily free to walk the earth unhindered. But for the entities whose ancient nature was obscured beneath the layers of deep-time, what do they really get out of us phoning them up for help?
In the best case scenario, you might manage to start a small new religion dedicated to a specific entity. A handful of followers, maybe twenty maximum. In the case of energetic exchange, that might be enough to keep the lights on for a few days. But, come on, we’re talking about an elder god here. They probably need furnaces that are at least continent-sized. If an elder god is having money troubles, maybe it really should just lay down and die already, y’know? Desperation is a bad look, unless we’re talking about Poosheen, Elder Goddess of Desperation.
Many systems route around this problem with one neat trick! See, the practitioner is a human. And humans? Special! What makes them special? They have a divine nature that’s inherently pure and good and full of little bits of gold, and if you’re a lucky little elder god, a human might sneeze on you, granting you a few units of its infinite soul-power or some such thing.
If you really believe that, why do you need Elder Gods in the first place? You’re special! Just go out and get what you want using your special humanly wiles. You’re unique, and apparently unlike all other beings in the cosmos, so act like it.
Due to the extreme improbability of that, what else do we got?
On the one hand, there’s compassionate action. Of course higher beings will help those below them, the same way we might take care of a baby bird or a kitten that’s stuck in a ditch. But that doesn’t really exactly track for Elder Gods, mostly because they tend to be characterized by their indifference to human affairs. Why would an Indifferent One feel any particular way towards us?
This is where it’s important to highlight the difference between reverence and a kind of contractual economic agreement. An Indifferent One may take a seat at the Pantheon simply because it is dangerous, and worth mentioning. “Hey, don’t hang out around Alkor, the volcano god, because you might fall into lava and die.”
That’s sensible. Put up an altar outside his domain that serves as a warning to those who cross it! “DON’T POKE ALKOR, THANKS” underneath a big scary statue.
But, to approach Alkor and beg him to kill one of your conference members because he’s downright annoying? Why should Alkor care? He’s not even going to exhibit cuteness aggression against you. Leave him alone.
The final possibility encompasses compassionate action within it: they do it because it’s fun, they enjoy it. In this sense, we preserve the economic structure while revealing the true value of the exchange for any given Elder God: libidinal surplus. It’s so damn fun to mess with humans, that they just can’t get enough. In addition, it may be fun to help humans because it makes them feel good, in exactly the same way it makes us feel good to help kittens in ditches. Barring that, scheming with our lives like we’re toys, or pets, or any manner of things. But Masoch proved that being a pet can be quite fun, and who are we to judge?
So, does Dgk-Ro-Barok need Karen to pledge her undying loyalty to him by smothering herself in dust and trash? No! Does he enjoy it anyway? Abso-fucking-lutely.
BTW, I just came up with all of these Elder Names in the spur of the moment, but there’s some interesting AQ results. Check them out for yourself!
Subdecadence Readings Available Now!
I’m offering subdecadence readings from 4/17/22 until 5/5/22. I can perform a reading given any subject, from “wtf is going on right now?”, to your career, or just which lemur you should try contacting next! Please email me or DM me on Twitter (look at the image below) to book a reading!
They’re $30, and you’ll receive a cool PDF of the reading, designed by Gate Zero!
If I get enough offers this time around (around 10 or so), I’ll make it a regular offering, and you’ll be able to order a reading any time you want~
I look forward to reading for you!